An Open Letter to Ladies from the loving butch at the end of the bar

By Alex West,

Let’s talk about the pink elephant in the room:

I am Gay.

So Gay.

As Gay as a handbag full of rainbows.

No really, that gay.

A big, fat, leather boot wearing, liberal, dyke on a bike.

I am ok with that.

My mum is ok with that.

But, there is something I wanted to ask: why are YOU not ok with that?

I ask this question with much love and appreciation for my sisters. But there is something that I have noticed: the queerer I look, the more androgynous my bowtie; the less I am able find acceptance from my feminist sisters in some social contexts. Here is a secret that I desperately want you to know:

My having fancies and lust for those of the lady variety does not make me a misogynist.

I do not don bowties or oxfords to conform to the patriarchy, which has been suggested to me of late. I just appreciate the feeling of a stiff collar and dapper wear. There exists in the lady community a misunderstanding. My gender identity and sexuality are not things that I choose or use to my advantage.

After reading Dee’s blog, I have reflected on some women’s reaction to noticeably queer or butch women. We are perceived as objectifying and preying on women in the same way some men do in seedy bars that play, “I’m sexy and I know it!” while wearing square toed fake leather shoes. This perception exists whether I have acted inappropriately or come on too strong. Like most women, I dislike rejection, and try to use my “gaydar” to ensure that women of the same persuasion receive my attentions. My clothes do not make me a man that touched your arse in the corner of the silent train carriage.

Don’t get me wrong, like women.

I love girls with tattooed décolletage, high heels and lipstick. I like to make you laugh and buy you red wine, open the door, pull out your chair and basically just Mr Darcy the fuck out of you. I do all this not to get into your pants, objectify or trick you; but to show appreciation. And because my mumma raise me to be a gentlewoman.

I love ladies, but I also love myself.

By Alex West.

The loving butch at the end of the bar

Alex is the Tasmanian State Branch President of the National Union of Students. Tasmanian University Union Sexuality Officer and Producer of Edge n Bacon and Tom, Dick and Harriet on Edge Radio. She is also apparently gay and when she was 7 wanted to be Marry Poppins. You can friend the show here

A woman needs a man, Bettina Arndt, please stop a moment while I vomit all over you.

OH.DEAR.GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m usually not a religious women, but I swear, I will drop to my knees pray to God, Jesus, The Virgin Mother, The Prophet Muhammad, Buddha, the goddess or whoever, to make Bettina Arndt shut her mouth and crawl into a cave.

Honestly, if there ever was a woman who is more fascinated with the fucking shadows on the wall it is she. I don’t know if Plato would envision the form of the evil, gender traitor piece of rubbish commentator but if there is one, I have named the Bettina Arndt.

Please stop a moment while I vomit all over the women’s laptop (sorry NUS) because I’ve been forced to read Arndt’s stupid waste of oxygen/print/time piece in yesterday’s paper online (read it here). I usually avoid you due to your tendency to make me dry wretch but sadly, it’s past midnight on what is now technically Monday morning and I’m in desperate need of a blog post.

Okay, confession, I haven’t actually read the entire thing, I am a bad, bad blogger who will not sacrifice my dinner (a home made pastie if anyone is interested) for the sake of my craft. It’s the internet, so sue me. I got the gist of it, which was more than enough, it would appear that the lovely Ms Arndt is talking about the ‘buyers market’ which apparently exists for men on the prowl for a wife.

All these stupid women who are now in their thirties that spent their 20’s out ‘getting an education, a career and playing the field’ who are now totally fucked. ‘Cos they’ve gone out and done what my ex’s grandmother once told me was ‘getting herself over educated’ (the unspoken suffix of which was ‘for a woman’). Stupid, stupid woman. No one wants a lady that’s smarter than they are, your PhD makes it a bit to obvious to them love.

Arndt’s conclusion, which is a lesson to any of you single twenty somethings out there, is to be looking for your ‘Mr Right, right now’. Don’t wait, because once you hit the bit 3-0 then your life will be over, you may as well go out, adopt some cats and start getting your hair set in those curlers. Because your double degree is going to be the only thing keeping you warm at night. Sorry ladies.

Putting aside the heteonormative and offensive nature of this article I’m going to fall back on that old chestnut of the feminist movement. Namely, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. What’s more if my generation of men turns out to be as intimidated by an intelligent, independent, educated woman then they’re a bunch of stupid babies anyway. If they don’t get to breed then it’s Darwinian baby!

I’m no more capable of being a purveyor of knowledge or advice as a commentator than one Ms Arndt, however, I would like to point out that I’ve been on this earth for some 21 years and I have a feeling that the level of respect and admiration that I hold for women that I’ve met is greater than anything that Bettina Arndt would be capable of.

This generation of women, those before and those that come after, are absolutely breathtaking. The brave feminists of the past did not fight for the vote, for the right of representation and education, for people like Bettina Arndt to tell us that we need to stop our education, our sexual liberation and our careers, for the sole purpose of gaining a husband.

In this generation of women there will be female prime ministers, premiers, there will be the women that lead the trade union movement, there will be Nobel Prize winners and novelists, there will be trail blazers and champions, they will take that glass ceiling and smash it into tiny pieces. Some of those women will be wives and mothers and some of them won’t be.

I hope that some of those women will have the opportunity to be the wives to wives when we end the injustice and embrace equal marriage. Some of those women won’t get married at all, Ms Arndt, and that will be completely fine too.

So, Bettina, Darling, I repeat that a woman needs  a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Now, excuse me while I vomit all over you.

‘He really is a lovely guy’ selling women ‘Vile Kyle’

In a surprisingly gutsy decision the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) has actually taken note of the complaints about ‘Vile Kyle’ and his attitudes toward women. The body, which is responsible for the moderation of the radio industry, has handed down a decision which places restrictions on what can be broadcast by both 2Day FM and its owner, Southern Cross Austereo. From now on if they are responsible for broadcasting material which is demeaning to women they run the risk of fines or the loss of their license.

Unsurprisingly, Southern Cross Austereo has come out against the decision saying that, since the majority of their listeners are women, they will struggle to fulfill the requirement of treating women as human beings worthy of respect. These terms, which they said in a statement were ‘broad and ambiguous and mean different things to different people’, would limit their ability to create programming which would appeal to their audience (of women, just so we’re clear).

The Kyle and Jackie O show nets some 15 million dollars in advertising revenue every year. The show is no stranger to controversy, notable examples include when Kyle and Jackie O hooked a 14 year old girl up to a lie detector to ask her about her ‘sexual experiences’ (putting aside the fact that at fourteen she’s unable to legally consent to much in most states). Predictably, the stunt went wrong when the child angrily responded to questioning with the statement that she had been raped at 12, and that this fact was known to her mother. Kyle, sensitive soul that he really is, paused a moment and said ‘and that’s your only sexual experience’. Comedy. Gold. I can see why so many people listen to this trash.

Most recently brought to the attention of the public was Kyle’s rant about a bad review written about a television show by a television reporter. Kyle, whose colleagues attest he really does respect women a lot, called her a ‘fat slag’ a ‘bitch’ and then topped the whole thing off with the charming statement ‘Watch your mouth or I will hunt you down’. Because violence against women isn’t an issue in our society (actually…hang on…)

I’ve been surprised that people keep tuning in and was even more surprised today when I discovered that the majority of their listeners were women. The advertisers made more sense then, given that women do hold the majority of the purchasing power. However, this begged a bigger question of why, oh why, are women listening to a team which seems to have very little respect for women and goes so far as to say that they can’t even promise that they won’t broadcast material which is degrading to women.

This is an issue which continues to plague mainstream entertainment in Australia and around the world. Women will continue to tune in, pay to see and watch things which insult and degrade them. The same is allegedly not true of men, who are unwilling to do the same to see films which are about women, let alone which are degrading to men.

I certainly don’t understand, but it would be interesting to get other people’s opinion on this. What will come next, will ‘Vile Kyle’ and 2Day FM stick to these new licensing regulations? And for how long?

Do any of you listen to this radio show? What’s it’s appeal? Comment below.